💕you more each day.

I do not know why It feels like I love you more when I use to not worry about who might be texting you calling you when i'm not around. The feeling just couldnt get any worse. I suddenly have trust issues. That's what I hate most when I get to attached with someone,I'll get afraid i'll lose them& I'll think so much about you hoping you'll always be by myside. I'm afraid I set too much freedom& i'm afraid I might be too hard on ya & both comes with its downfall.

Thats fr now.
Xoxo.

   Things may get worse and out of hands but may you be the candle that lights the world fr me. 

Goodnight, xoxo.

                    

Today I wake up realising what I became into. From one young quiet girl to one girl who's not afraid to face the world anymore. To stop letting people get in her way. To start fighting for her right. The night I cried fr you. The night I put my tears on the phone, on the road on my cheecks. It has never happened to anyone else. I never cried anywhere else outside to anyone. I didnt know how special you mean to me and how much I dont give a damn about how strong I've always wanted to be and show people how proud I manage to pull off. We've been thru so much, so much that I feel you are the one that brings who I really am. That brings out ever anger evrything that was all bottled up deep down my chest. Evrything that has ever happened to me. For what I remember I never pushed slapped a guy before neither do I get slapped from my ex/ex dates. It hurts me, but it too shows to stop all this. To stop pushing things to you. I know how much you've put
up a strong front fr me. To see my worst& yet seeing you standing before me is what I need throughout the time.

All I want is you. You to tell me anything/ evrything even it hurts me. I dont want to find out myself one day. I want to be that one understanding girl I was before but I dont want to lose myself for understanding anyone before me anymore. Again, i'm sorry. I hope you know the struggles i've been thru. And how much you played an important role in my life now.

Xoxo. I misss you.

This morning I felt different. I wish to apologise. I felt empty. I feel that I messed up. But I dont know If this is just temporary or feelings at the moment. I denied keep denying that I miss you& I'll be okay. Cause things takes time& I'll get on tracks.

Hasn't it been sometime since I last blog but today I really need this. I need to pen this down.

I'll make this short cusxz I cant bring myself to explain what i'm feeling.

Apart from leaving people for the best or for what I deserved. I've been cheated been lied been left been made use of. Because I realise I simply let people in my life. My mistake.

I'm sorry I had my attitude on you, I cant just bring myself to what happened. I've given you the trust the love the care the whole lot of time when you were around even when I dont call myself your own. It tears me apart that the fact that this time, I'm being so mean. So mean that I dont even care about the other party feelings. It tears me apart that I felt cheated again. Again again again. It tears me apart that I'm not myself anymore, I dont understand people anymore. Because whenever I did they give all the bullshit. I then realise why girls are so mean why girls gets angry easily. I know I've thrown so much attitude on you. It tears me apart that when I trust someone they always give me a reason to not too. The unconditional love I put up on put up for just so you can feel. But I just cant look at things the same way. I made up my mind cause I dont think i'll be able to make things better. To be strong enuf to recover the pain& bring back happiness. I'm making my distance cause I dont think i'll be happy, YOU'LL BE HAPPY. Cause I can never bring back myself I can never pretend evrything was fine, I can never put up my strong front I can never ever ever afford for another mistake to happen to me. Just so you know I'm doing this for the best, for the both of us. Either way I dont any of us to be unhappy. I sure am gonna miss you. I sure am. Cuszx you bring so much smiles so much happiness so much laughter. Things will take time but believe me you'll be fine you got my prayers.

I'm sorry i'm this mean, I've given so much to lose myself.


Xoxo.